In my last post I talked about what God was teaching me by reminding me how easily something you love can be taken from you. It is how God grabs my heart and turns it to Himself, saying “Remember who you are, and remember Who I am.”
God has given me yet another thing to keep my gaze ever so close to Him. Before I open my heart, I need a moment… *reaches for Young Living Joy, and Believe blends* Just to help my heart remain strong as I share this with you all.
We are so blessed right now to expect a new addition to our family in November. However, a few weeks ago, the thought of our third child being born in the arms of Jesus was too real. My hubby and I were not only scared, but our hearts hurt that we could have yet another baby leave us too soon. We had an ultrasound to confirm that a beautiful baby was growing and flipping around in Mommy’s womb (Kaylee will be thrilled to have such energy from a sibling) However, we also learned that I had a subchorionic hemorrhage. By the looks of the ultrasound, it had looked like it was already resolving. Symptoms seemed to be better, but didn’t stop completely. This isn’t completely bad news, but it wasn’t good news either. We were left with the possibility of anything happening.
I’d looked around the internet, reading other women’s experiences with this. Many filled with hope. Occasionally others not so much. I’d like to think we would fit in with the majority, but my heart keeps distant and realistic. I’m living every day, one day at a time. I am constantly reminded through this that God is in control, and if He wills us to see this healthy and strong baby in November then I know we will.
I’m not meaning to be dramatic, but I’m hoping to come off as realistic and submissive to a God whose ways are greater than my own. Our path right now is one that is challenging our faith and reminding us of God’s sovereignty. I’m sharing this for a few reasons:
- It is pressed on my heart at the moment
- This blog isn’t for only sharing my life when I’m at my strongest, but to be vulnerable in my weakness as well so that you may be encouraged and strengthened through it
- I just want to be real with you all
I’m learning to tune in to what my body is telling me. I’m praying for God’s wisdom to help me understand when it’s time to go and check it out again. I’m checking and double checking which of my wonderful oils will help me in this, and which ones I should set aside for the time being. I’m finding foods I can eat, products I can use, anything that would give my body a natural chance to be strong enough to allow it to resolve itself. However I also remember that nothing I do will change the will of God, but I still do the best I know how with what I’ve got.
The beautiful thing right now, is that my heart is filled with Peace. I experienced this another time during that crazy Mime season I was part of this last time around, when I knew the Peace I had wasn’t my own. It’s happening again. I lay down at night thanking God that my child is safe in her crib, my hubby is safe in my arms, and my growing infant is safe in my womb. I’ll take it one day at a time, and thank God when the day is over and all is well. It’s the best I can do right now.
Keep striving and thriving, one day at a time. We can do it together.