I feel like I’ve posted this before in a blog, but man oh man is this one of the most helpful things that any married couple can understand! At least in my opinion. It is so nice to know what my husband is most moved by. Studying my husband is a joy, and finding out what makes him the most appreciated and loved is what helps me keep our marriage vibrant and alive. He would say the same thing.
I’m not talking about anything sexual. I’m not talking about what you can do to get your spouse to “get in the mood” with you. I’m talking about everyday things that you can do for your spouse that will make them feel most appreciated and loved in a marriage. It’s so helpful to know that what you feel is important may not be the case for your spouse. You may be craving a bouquet of flowers once in a while. Your husband may just need to be told that he’s doing a great job at providing for the family. If you didn’t know that about him, you may be getting him gift after gift and it’s not meaning near as much to him as it would to you. It can leave you confused because you think you’re doing everything you know how to do to make your husband feel loved. It’s not your fault that he’s not getting the message, but it’s not his fault either for not fully understanding your motives.
I’m not a marriage counselor, but I’m speaking from experience. My husband’s main love language is quality time. I’m words of affirmation. For me, a quick word of encouragement is natural for me. I would think that’s all I’d need to do for him and I’d be good. However, I have to remind myself that Harold is going to feel most appreciated if I’m setting time aside and spending it with him. Giving him my attention for a length of time, not just a quick passing.
Each marriage is different. I’d encourage you to take the test below and explore what makes your marriage unique and what you desire most. I find that in time, my own love language changes a little. I’m going to retake this as well and see how I’ve changed in the 3 years of being married.
Not everyone gets the chance to hear about the 5 Love Languages. If you have, it’s such a blessing! This week for my married friends, let’s focus on our marriages and rediscover what makes it so unique. I’ll do this with you. We can strive and thrive together that way, by starting in our homes!