The lack of writing (for over 2 months now) probably gives you the idea that I am still trying to figure out how to juggle life now that a new little one has been put into our family. I tell you something, this job is probably the most trying, difficult, humbling, eye-opening job I’ve ever been in. I sometimes think that it’s sad that I don’t get paid to do this…but that thought doesn’t last long when a smile, hug, or “I love you Mom” comes out of the blue to remind me that this job pays me more than any other job ever could.
Abigail Evanna, our little warrior. We chose that name because of our scare we had with her during the pregnancy. For those that hadn’t read my previous blog posts, Harold and I had a miscarriage right before Abigail. At about 6 weeks, God took that little peanut home before we could set eyes on him/her. The next month, Abigail began. Early on with Abigail, I had another scare that brought me to think that we may have lost this one too. It was more intense, but peace had come over me as we were on our way to a surprise ultrasound to see if she was still there. To our relief, we saw Abigail very active and enjoying her temporary home as she grew. As my body was dealing with the bleeding, she held on and God kept her safe. Shortly after I started feeling her, Harold did too. We realized that this girl was not just a survivor, but also one tough little nugget. I’m not surprised with how strong she is at this point, because Harold and I both knew fairly early that she was gonna be well built.
Her middle name, Evanna, was picked with these experiences in mind. God had shown us a little girl who was made strong despite the complications that arose. The fact that she is here now gives me a little glimpse of the kind of girl she may turn out to be.
I love watching Kaylee grow and watching her heart develop. I look forward to seeing that with Abigail as well. Kaylee Irene is the “Pure Peace” that God had to give me to start our family when He decided it was time, despite my own timeline I wanted to go by. Abigail Evanna is our “Young Warrior” who survived a time where we had to completely trust God to carry our baby through. “The Father’s Joy,” she is the joy of her Father, and our hearts are full of it to have her with us today.
Psalm 139:13 is such a sweet verse, but when you carry a child throughout the whole pregnancy, this verse seems to make me more aware of the miracle that actually happens inside. Life beginning inside of me just blows my mind, let alone carrying that life and nurturing it.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. ESV
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. NLV
I’m honored to be given this role and to be used in this way, and I’m honored to be given the name “Mother” for two amazing little girls. As Harold tells me, “The days are long, but the weeks are short.” It’s a time that I will miss if I blink, so I’m keeping my eyes open as long as I can and savoring each hug, kiss, “I love you,” giggle, dance session, nap cuddle, songs sung together, piggy back ride, bath time, book reading, (this list can go on a while). There will be a last time for everything eventually. Until that happens, I’m going to do my best to make this job I have count. And I need to do better about writing the days down. I don’t want to forget them.